As children it is completely natural for our parents to encourage us to use our imagination, to let us be completely silly, creative and free spirited so we can discover who we are and allow ourselves to experience laughter and unfiltered innovation. Our parents want us to know no boundaries so we can develop into anything we want to be. Unfortunately for most of us, when we become adults we are constantly worried about being judged by others, so we shelter that inner free spirited child we once were and go with the grain. Of course when on the job (pending what your job is) we usually need to be pull out the most professional self but that is no excuse for not allowing our real selves to shine in our free time with our friends, family and significant other.
Let’s get down to relationships. When meeting someone new, if we are lucky enough to make that good first impression and spark a connection we then begin dating that person consistently. We certainly don’t show all of our cards from the get go. It is a slow build. You get to know each other, but on what level? Do you find yourself shifting your behaviors to be more like what you think he/she would like so that you are better perceived? Sometimes, we just want to be loved and in love so we become someone we are not for the sake of being in a relationship. Ask yourself this: are you really letting your hair down and being your true self in your relationship or are you 75% of that person or maybe 50%? What is that other percentage and why are you afraid to let go? Most likely we are scared of being judged and that is because as we enter our adult years everyone seems to be so critical. Imagine if we didn’t care what others thought about us and if we were 100% confident in who we are 100% of the time. I am not sure about you but I think CONFIDENT IS SEXY! Stop wasting your time amending yourself and molding into what you think your significant other wants you to be. If you are not 100% yourself in your relationship then it’s time to decipher if your partner is the right match.
I have been in a relationship for four years with my childhood friend. The reason we chose each other after being friends for 18 years, is because we absolutely love who the other person is on a REAL level. The best part about my relationship with my boyfriend is that he laughs with me when I decide to jump up and bust out weird dance moves in front of the TV to distract him, he slow dances with me when I turn on music in the kitchen while making dinner and we get into giggle sessions simply because I adore laughing with him. I am silly and I can be silly with him and he loves me for it because that is who I am! There is no holding back with him. The fact that we allow ourselves to really be who are with each other connects us on a much deeper level. We have formed such a special bond with each other that our souls have intertwined. If you don’t believe me that this kind of love exists then you certainly have not found the one and you should not settle until you do! The lesson here is: you haven’t found your soulmate if you haven’t found someone who loves your sparkle. So if you are toning down your real self for your partner then you should ask yourself: is he/she really your soulmate?
You Haven’t Found Your Soulmate Until You Have Found This/ November 27, 2016 / © Jill E. Gallien
