I confess I wrote this blog post months ago and somehow it got lost in the shuffle of taking care of my baby who is now 1 years old! It is crazy how fast time goes by. When I was struggling with little sleep, that 2-3 hours a night rotation, I practiced mindfulness and meditation to get me through. I am sharing my Positive Thinking for New Parents tips in hopes that it can help some other mamas and dads out there!
I lay in bed, my body curled around the Boppy Lounger Louis sleeps in, my shirt covered in spit up and my hair thrown in a not so cute bun on top of my head so the baby doesn’t wrap his cute little fingers around it and yank it with his newly developed strength. Sleep when the baby sleeps,” is the golden rule every wise parent advises however, my mind refuses to quiet. I take this opportunity to meditate instead of sleep. A few minutes into my practice some much needed mental clarity overcomes me as I start counting my blessings. “I’m thankful for my baby boy. We waited a long time for you to come into our lives,” I say to myself while holding Louis’ tiny hand. “I’m thankful for my loving husband who is the best partner a mommy could ask for,” I continue reciting my blessings in my head. “I’m thankful for a fridge full of organic food. I’m thankful for having a roof over my head. I’m thankful I live in LA, a city I’ve always dreamed of calling my home,” I say to myself. I start FEELING my blessings and embracing my fortunes as a tear trickles down my cheek. Maybe my life isn’t exactly where I want it to be but I sure have so much to be thankful for. It feels good to call upon gratitude and perhaps it does more for my soul than that much needed nap could do.
Most of my days, I typically repeat less gracious sentences to myself. Usually I focus on how tired I feel, how I don’t enjoy pumping but am fortunate I can provide breastmilk for my baby, how I haven’t showered yet and feel gross and how I wish I had family nearby to help my husband and I with Louis so things would be easier on us. Not one of these thoughts makes me feel gratitude. Instead they make me feel worse, cranky and pull me further into a funk. It’s far easier to focus on the negative and wallow in self pity than it is to reflect upon the good things in my life. Why is that? I have read so much on how we can create the life we want by controlling what we say to ourselves because thoughts turn to emotions which turn into behavior. Positive thoughts output positive energy. It’s not easy, but there is definitely something to it!
Advice
I found that it’s best to call upon gratitude with a clear mind as opposed to forcing positive thoughts while already in a bad mood. I’ve tried the latter and it just doesn’t work. If you start your day focusing on your blessings it will set you up for a happier mindset for the remainder of the day. You are training your brain to reshape thoughts. The more practice you put into positive thinking, the easier it is to embrace daily.
Another opportunity for positive thinking is when you are beyond exhausted and the baby wakes up in the middle of the night. A good practice is removing the first negative thought that tend to pop up like, “Ugh, all I want to do is sleep,” because, following that thought are emotions of anger and frustration. When you pick up your baby with a bad attitude you are passing negativity on to him. Babies are far smarter than you think. They can sense your mood. Don’t believe that theory? Test it out. I remember when Louis was two months old and he hadn’t perfected head control yet. I was holding him carefully however, upon moving him to a different position, Louis’ head dropped quickly onto his chest. I immediately gave that “Oh shit” look and Louis instantly mirrored my facial expression with fear. I couldn’t get over it! How was my baby two months old and he sensed my fear? If he could pick up on the worrisome energy I conveyed in that moment, then it must mean he can pick up on my energy at other times. Does your baby laugh and smile when you do? Well then he can probably feel your less than joyful vibes when you feel unhappy that you have to wake to feed him in the night.
Removing negative emotion is no easy task, I get it; especially for over tired parents. But doesn’t it feel better to just get out of bed and take care of business instead of feeling shitty about doing it? Your baby might just smile at you if you pick him up with a smile. Doesn’t seeing that joyful cute little face you created make waking up at 3am far easier? It does for me!
To Practice Gratitude Try The Following
- Go to a comfortable and quiet spot so you feel relaxed.
- Turn your attention towards your breath.
- Practice a few minutes of deep breathing to calm and center yourself allowing your focus to be in this present moment.
- Select a few things you are grateful for and start by saying to yourself why you are thankful for each of them. Feel what that means. Allow your body and mind to experience it, so you evoke the beautiful emotion that comes with calling in thanks.
- Let this mood booster resonate and practice often.
